In the evenings, when the sun starts going down, I get a very anxious feeling. A feeling that is hard to describe. It’s not really fear. It’s not sadness. Just an uneasy feeling that makes me restless. Best I can make of it, is that it happens because I know another day of not getting up and going to work, is on the horizon. Knowing that the furthest I can drive is less than a mile to a gas station up the road. Knowing that I can only clean and organize the house so much. Until recently, in the evenings, I sat on the couch, absentmindedly watching whatever Stuart was watching, feeling like I was going to explode.
Then, I found Yoga. I started this journey two months to the date, yesterday. I have learned so much about myself in a very short amount of time.
I don’t do Yoga in a studio or attend a class. I practice it in a spare bedroom with the guidance of Adriene. Her Youtube channel has been my salvation, as of late.
My mindset from day one to two months down the road has changed so much. I have developed a respect and admiration for Yoga and for myself. I am learning that I am ok just the way I am, physical limitations and all. I don’t have to be able to contort my body into all shapes of poses to be a “yogi.” I may never be able to do any that but what I am accomplishing is far more important.
I am building a stronger body. I set out on a quest to develop stronger core muscles in order to stay one step in front of the Chiari and Meniere’s that set my physical limitations so often. If you have balance issues, yoga is unbelievable!
I’m celebrating milestones. It may not seem like a lot to some of you but the day before yesterday, I was able to hold myself in a side plank position for about 45 seconds, maybe a little less. Only on my left side because my right side is much weaker than my left BUT I held it on the left side! Still gotta work on form but you gotta start somewhere.
I’m balancing better than I have in years. Last night I chose a balance video. I choose random videos from Adrienes channel every night. Here it is if you would like to give it a go. Yoga with Adriene – Balance Practice Be forewarned, I sweat more doing this video than any of the others! Holy cow, I was challenged but I was so happy at how far I have come in a month. I was able to hold a standing half split for a good while, both sides! Now, mind you, the leg in the air was only a little higher than my hips but dadgumit I was on one leg, without falling on my face! Only those who know me personally can truly appreciate this!
I am learning to breathe. My lungs are probably in shock as I have been filling them with more quality breaths than I have in my lifetime. It is truly liberating and relaxing to BREATHE!
I don’t have that anxious feeling as much lately. I attribute that directly to all that I am gaining through yoga.
If you are anxious, give it a go. Start off simple and move at your own pace. You don’t even have to leave your house. Can’t wait see where I am in two more months, mentally and physically. Remember everything that Yoga is not!
Keepin’ it a ‘lil less wonky these days,