Stuart and I recently watched “I Feel Pretty” starring Amy Schumer. Absolutely adorable movie that got me thinking. Oh no, right?
Looking back, I don’t remember caring too much about my outward appearance when I was a kid. I was too busy playing outside.
I do recall getting excited when my granny would sew Stacy and I elaborate Easter dresses or matching Christmas dresses when we were young. Ya know, before we got too cool to wear the bonnets and such.
I distinctly remember getting my first bra and all that led up to that momentous occasion. I was in 5th grade and it was becoming evident I needed one. You know, that in between stage? Not flat chested anymore but evidence that something was happening. Well, at least it was evident to a certain 5th grade boy who will remain nameless. Talk about humiliating. I wonder if he remembers. Doubtful. I was uncomfortable talking to my mom about that stuff but somehow it was determined that it was time. Said bra was purchased. My mom, Stacy and I stopped by my mamaw’s that evening. As soon as we walked through the door, my mom shared the new bra news with Mamaw. I swear y’all, it was the scene from Sixteen Candles, only the whole horrific scene was taking place in my mamaw’s kitchen. Stacy can vouch for me. I kid you not, Mamaw squashed my new found friends and said, ‘”they’re so perky.” I was mortified. I felt violated, to say the least! Sixteen Candles link if you need a refresher. The grandma in Sixteen Candles even looked like my mamaw. Almost identical. I’m pretty sure my boobs grew in overnight, much to my disappointment. The boys, however, didn’t share my disappointment. It sucked!
I didn’t really care too much about clothes and getting all fancy either. Not much has changed. I did L O V E me some fluorescent clothes in junior high, but who didn’t? Ergo the 80’s!Then in high school, I’m pretty sure I had every color of Rocky Mountain jeans known to man and Justin Ropers.
Growing up I wasn’t the prettiest. I wasn’t ugliest. I was, however super insecure about the size of my butt! The fact that both parents had nicknames for it didn’t help matters either.
My mom cared more about my appearance than I did. She thought I was pageant material. Hush! Makes me giggle too. I was enrolled in a couple of pageant classes and even attended a few up until I got grounded for having boys in the house when my parents weren’t home. Never claimed to be an angel. More rebel than pageant queen I can assure you.
In order to correct my “sway back” and get pageant ready, I spent a set amount of time everyday, working on my posture. My sway back was deemed to bring more attention to my already ample rear. I had an apple bottom before it was acknowledged as “a thing.” With a book a top my head, I would walk back and forth across the living room in an attempt to lessen the sway. Guess what? It didn’t work.
Body type is unique to each of us. As of late, I’ve realized some people are just blessed with good genes. I am 5 foot nothing. If I gain five pounds, I take on the appearance of aging oompa loompa. Nice imagery, huh?
Over the past few years, I think I’ve become more self conscious about my appearance than I ever was when I was younger. I found myself tearing up like a big ole tit baby, identifying with Renee in “I Feel Pretty.”
There was a scene that hit way too close to home. Renee, Amy Schumer’s character went into a cute little boutique. The size 2 salesgirl asked her if she was shopping for a gift. Renee in turn, sheepishly responded, “I’m kind of browsing for me.” ‘Ole Size 2 proceeded to tell her that sizing was limited in the store but she was sure that her size could be found online. That’s how I feel everytime I step foot in a cute little boutique.
But you know what? The way I feel about me is not ‘ole size 2’s fault. It’s not my mom and dad’s fault. It’s all on me.
Self confidence is something that we all struggle with, if we’re being real here. Men and women alike, truth be told.
Sure. I’ve got things that I feel I do well. I can draw some self confidence from that pool most days. It’s the appearance pool that tends to run dry. You know what I’m talking about.
The hair is more grey than ever. I’ve allowed, even encouraged the sun to work its’ evil on my face. The wrinkles, more plentiful daily, it seems. The weight, well, it’s a dadgum struggle. Whole 30 – Keto – binge. That seems to be my routine these days. And the girls, let’s be honest. They aren’t no where near as perky as they once were! I’ve even kicked around the nip, tuck and lift A LOT idea here lately. Who am I kidding? I’m the poster child for what can go wrong while under the knife. Instead of two lifted, I’d come out with three pointing every which way.
I can’t pinpoint the origin of my lack of self confidence these days. I hate to utter the next thought but I’m going to anway. I truly think I let pictures on social media get in my head. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media. I just wish folks were more authentic. That being said, what others post on social media is not to blame for my insecurities. I control me.
At the end of the day, I’d venture to say we all struggle with the way we look, whether a size 2 or a size 14. Man or woman. I’m a size 14 – 16 all day long. There I said it!
It doesn’t matter if you’re a youngin or an old girl like me, go look in the mirror and give yourself some love. Don’t focus on what you deem as the negative. If you need to lose some weight, there’s something you can do about it. There are things that will slow down the wrinkling but in the end, it’s gonna happen. The grey? Some of us are just blessed. Get ’em colored if you want. You can only fight it for so long. If you want to get a nip, tuck or a lift, go for it.
When your head hits the pillow at night, ask yourself if you inspired someone during the day. Did you make someone smile? Did you hurt someone and need to make amends. Did someone hurt you and do you need to let them know it’s not ok to do that. Are you right with your maker? Are you setting an example for your kids that they can be proud of? Was your time well wasted today? These questions and so many more are what I’m choosing to focus on from here on out. Click here to listen to the Best. Song. Ever.
I never – ever – thought I would quote these words that were spewed so often throughout my childhood but I’m finding they ring true when met with the right intent. At the end of the day, pretty is as pretty does folks.
The way you see yourself is the way others see you too. If you walk around like a beat puppy, chances are that’s the way others will see you. If you walk with your head held high, confidence in tow, that will be noticed as well.
The way we treat others speaks volumes. Much more so than the way we look on the outside.