Why is it that I feel uncomfortable with all things girly? I grew up a tomboy and here I am at 45, still a tomboy. Tomboy-dom is my comfort zone.
Applying makeup is a chore. I like the outcome when someone else does it for me, I’ll admit it. But when I apply the warpaint, it just never looks right. I’ve watched YouTube videos and I even follow a few “Beauty” blogs. Giving a shout out to BeautyBeyondBones! I know that’s a shocker to some of you. The older I get, the less craps I give about trying to look “pretty in pink.”
Crocs and flip flops are my go to and I’m not afraid to admit it. I go through daring spurts of branching out and buying a pair of shoes out of my comfort zone just to find them collecting dust, tags still on, in my closet. And then there is the bane of my existent, heels! Can you say instant humiliation? I can’t walk a straight line barefoot, heels are out of the freaking question. I admire them from a far and secretly wish I could don a pair but lets face it, it ain’t gonna happen.
One of my girly pleasures is getting “my toes and nails did.” Even then, the process is painful. Why is it that I feel completely out of place at the nail salon? Anytime I “clean-up” I feel like a little girl playing dress up. I’ve always struggled with that.
I have kept my hair short and funky, knowing that I couldn’t just pull it up in a ponytail and throw on a cap until recently. Here I am, growing my hair out, highly anticipating the day I can pull it up in a ponytail.
The only fashion quandaries I find myself in are how much camo is too much and can I mix camo prints. Seriously, these are my fashion dilemmas. I occasionally find myself rummaging through my husbands side of the closet for all things camo.
You will see me in a dress if I can pair them with flip flops. I stick with the same styles and colors for the most part. Hippy meets Boho. I have tried to step out of my same ole same ole but those dresses bought on a whim are collecting dust with the shoes purchased during those daring shopping spurts.
Jewelry, well I’m an admirer of all things shiny but don’t want to have to decide what to wear with what, so I don’t go there. I wear the same stuff day in and day out. A practice that I’m sure my husband appreciates.
Why does this non fashionsensed tomboy-dom fit me so well? I’m not really sure. I spent most of my childhood and teenage years trudging through creeks, riding four wheelers and playing football with the neighborhood boys. Maybe my formative years are the genesis of my fashion sense or lack thereof.
Am I comfortable in my skin or am I complacent? I guess there is a fine line between the two.
If we are honest with ourselves, we all have our own insecurities. Mine is struggling with outward femininity. I nurture, I listen, I love, but those are internal. The aforementioned being a few of the traits I came across when doing a quick Google search on the femininity.
Oh, to be as comfortable in my own skin as Sue Heck. She is a quirky girl with a style all her own. She of course is a fictitious character on the most true to life TV sitcom about family, The Middle. Sue is a kindred spirit of mine, separated only by several years and oh, reality. She marches to the beat of her own drum and doesn’t look back.
I never thought I’d be quoting my mom, but “pretty is as pretty does.” I can’t even imagine how many times those words were spewed at me during adolescence. I will freely admit however that there is truth among them.
If you aren’t “pretty” on the inside, the outside doesn’t matter much, does it? I think many factors contribute to the inside prettiness. I’m sure that you will agree.
As I look back over my life, there have been times when I appeared to have it more together based on my outward appearance only to be pretty dadgum ugly on the inside.
As of late, I feel like my “inside” Julie is much prettier than she used to be, freeing me from worrying so much about the “outside” Julie. So, I guess I just answered my own questions.
Am I comfortable in my own skin or am I complacent? The answer is I am both. I’m comfortable and complacent based on my innards.
Thing is, whether a tomboy wearing camo and crocs, marching to the beat of your own drum like my girl Sue, or a fashionista wearing Pradas, we can all strive to pretty on the inside.